How typical: America just can’t butt out. Fucking Capitalists.

The past couple of weeks, summarized: Insomnia. I’m fucked up. Somehow my circadian rhythm has been thrown off. I would get home, sleep, wake up a couple of hours later, and proceed to deal with the Day’s shit, repeating the cycle once I got home. A large portion of my “budget” went to Monster energy drinks. Yum. Tyi. Things have been rocky, but at this point, I think we’re cool. Am I over him?

We found ourselves in the park. It was there where I poured out the emotions that I’ve kept bottled up for the entire week before. He was completely understanding, even had a confession of his own. And that’s when I woke up, well, after fast forwarding to him pinning me against a wall, having his way. In reality, this past week has been emotionally draining. I’ve ignored my ultimatums, only to find myself in a very uncomfortable and painful position.

Standing at the urinal, positioned to relieve myself, Dale asked me how my day has been. Sure, I gave him the standard “Pretty good.” But I reflected on it for a moment more: this day has been quite awesome. It started off with band, as any ‘A’ day might. We didn’t tune for long before getting into Danse Bacchanale. I always dread having to play At Dawn They Slept because I easily lose time and there are multiple parts to keep up with, a couple that’s trouble in the making.

Yesterday I woke up making out with notes that detailed the digestive system, lights on and everything. That was some good sleep. A glance at the clock put the time a bit past 4:30. The night before, a fight with a fly interrupted my studies and quite honestly, wore me out. On edge and out of breath, I just dozed off, grateful for the refuge and protection of my blanket. Needless to say, that put me behind.

Sunday started off so innocently. Got up around 9, called Jewell to make plans, and met up with her at her house around 2. We both walked to the bus stop, proceeding to Maryland Plaza, where Allison was to meet us later. She showed up at a quarter ’til 4—surprised the hell out of me. I haven’t seen that girl in forever, neither has Jewell. We meandered for maybe a half an hour, before heading off to the Loop.

This afternoon my train will depart at 3:30pm, leaving for Jefferson City. Not quite my midnight train to Georgia, but it’s getting there. This week, recapitulated: (atleast what I can remember of it) Monday Last weekend I told myself that I would send off my application to Columbia College Chicago regardless of what might happen, and I did. I’ve never been more of a nervous wreck. For one, I’m unsure of my essay.

I was pulled out of Lottie Dottie to speak with the social worker. A part of me was reluctant, annoyed, yet another was thrilled—for the longest I’ve been wanting some sort of professional help and others have gotten a go with her except for me. She directed me to the nurse’s office, which I thought a little odd, as I wasn’t expecting more than two people to be part of the conversation.

I’ve been out since 9 this morning. Had a queer youth summit to attend at Wash U. Very interesting. Great people. Get a bunch of fags and dykes together and you get DRAMA. I mean damn. Work was amazing. Met a cool chick named Natalie, Elissa’s friend. Craziness all around. Massive cleanup…it’s amazing how clean that place is even after what it’s been through tonight. Line out the door for the restroom.

Oh, the lessons I learn. I fainted today during my Group IV presentation. I remember everything: I remember feeling something, just bad. I felt weak, nauseated, dizzy, and couldn’t see. I leaned up against the copier, next thing I know I can feel myself stumbling around. I heard everything; I think Julia even came up and asked if I was okay. I just couldn’t see. It was really weird, embarassing even.